The Do's and Don'ts of Bachelorette Parties

The Ultimate Party

Follow these simple rules to help make sure that your bachelorette party is her night to remmeber, and not a nightmare to forget!

Whether you're the bride, the one planning the party or a guest, it's good to know the "rules" of those fun, friend-filled pre-wedding fetes known as bachelorette parties. If you need to know some bachelorette party basics, start here. If you're in search of more specific do's and don'ts, keep reading. .

PARTY DO'S

Do make sure that everyone who is invited to the bachelorette bash is invited to the wedding. But don't worry about inviting all the females on your wedding guest list to your girls' night out.

Do be sure your fiancé's female relatives are invited, even if you're sure they won't attend. If you don't want them to feel obligated to attend, you or your fiancé can tactfully let them know that declining won't hurt your feelings.

Do look for group rates -- for meals, entertainment, spa getaways and so on. Many establishments offer such discounts.

Do ask the bride for input regarding the guest list if you're unsure whom to invite.

Do share the bill with all the party guests -- except the bride. If you're the hostess, you're not expected to foot the bill!

Do plan a party you're sure the bride, as well as most of the guests, will enjoy. Just because you love standup comedy doesn't mean everyone else will. There are plenty of fun places to throw a bachelorette bash, including simply reserving a table at the bride's favorite restaurant.

Do find out who is doing the planning and how you can help. This is true whether you're the bride, a bridesmaid or a guest. Typically, the maid of honor plans the bachelorette party, but it's appropriate for the bridesmaids to help out, and for the bride to help with the guest list, if asked.

PARTY DON'TS

Don't plan this fete too close to the wedding date, unless a close, close friend of the bride's who lives 3,000 miles away simply must be there -- and she can't fly in until right before the wedding. If that's the case, plan it for two days before the big day, not the night before. Better yet, if possible, plan for a week or two before the wedding; if there's any chance of injury (a ski trip, whitewater rafting), leave several weeks.

Don't drink heavily at the beginning of the night.

Don't plot or plan anything that will embarrass the bride so much she'll be upset or angry. A stripper is fine if you're sure the bride will laugh and enjoy the act. Forcing her to take the stage with a bunch of Chippendale dancers just because she's had one (or two or three) too many champagne cocktails may be seen as cruel when she recovers from her hangover.